Some days you just have to run…..

Nothing fancy in the picture above.

Just a screen shot of my personal running log. Slowly I am starting to get back into running. I love to run, it’s my stress release. I put my ear buds in, turn on my play list and go. Unfortunately while I prefer to run outside we live in Western New York where during the winter it is not an option.

 Today I took to the treadmill with the goal of decompressing from the week.

We made it to Friday! Short week of school for my kids because of the holiday, lot of snow and cold and hopes of snow days (them not me). It was a pretry uneventful week with normal schedules, ups and downs, nothing to tragic. 

But, as I pulled out a pair of socks to put on my cold feet I was just done. I was over the day before it started but that was the thing the day wasn’the even close to being done. It was 630 am and the day was just beginning. 

I was struggling just to get up and move. I texted a friend to say I could meet at the y but going to the ladies bible study was just not going to work today. 

I just needed to run.

I spent the next 2 hours getting the day going.Breakfast, kids up, hair done, finding socks, picking battles overy boots. As I dropped the last 3 off at school and headed to the y to get my run done my mind was still just blah. I called a friend to chat about something with our kids and then sat in my car and knew I just needed to go in. 

I made it inside to where the treadmills are, and slowly took of the winter layers and boots. I could feel the stress of the day, week, the ups and downs on my body. My shoulders  were so tight it hurt to move my arms. 

I just needed to run.

I slowly began running and turned up the music on my playlist. With each verse of the song that came across the earbuds, I slowly began to feel the weight of the morning slip away. 

30 minutest later I was done with my run and felt renewed. The day was still busy, the week had been long but I felt renewed.  

What about you? 

What do you do that is a healthy way to destress when life is wearing you thin? Maybe your like me and your just getting back into the thing you love. Or maybe you know you need to but have been putting it off because you think you don’t have time. Let me encourage you to take 30 minutes today just for you and go. Decompress and let it out. The dishes can wait. The world and all its craziness will still be there. You will just be able to tackle it better.

Sometimes you just got to run…

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New year New you?

As I scrolled through social media this morning, post after post was about exercise plans, organizational plans, healthy eating etc. Start this plan in 2017, be a better you just follow our 10 step guide. Many of the posts I clicked on had a plan you could purchase for only $$$. While I agree that there is more of a commitment if you spend $$ the end result is this, if you don’t want to make the change for yourself it doesn’t matter how much you invest. 

Now please understand I am not saying don’t purchase these products. I have purchased my share in the past some wonderful and worth the money, others not so much. They didn’t work for me.

What I am saying is before you make a change ask your self a few questions…

  • What is it I am wanting to change in the new year? More organized, run a marathon, travel? 
  • Is my goal realistic? If you have never ran down the block chances are you will burn out before you run a marathon.
  • Am I fully invested in making a change or  is this something I feel I should do? Who am I listening too?

Resolutions are great. I will be starting mine this week. Today I am taking the time to really evaluate what I want for 2017 and what I can realistically accomplish. I will be sharing as the week progressess and January begins.

What about you? 

What will you change in 2017? 

Sacred Spaces does not wear camouflage.

sacred spaces I have had the privilege of being part of the Sacred Spaces launch team these past few weeks. As a now retired military wife I honestly read the book with the expectation that this was  a chance to go back to a life we left behind just over a year ago. I figured it would be for me a walk down memory lane. That my life now could not relate to all the  author  Corie Weathers  was writing about. Nor could I apply it to my marriage now.

I was so wrong!

You see, while the book is written from the perspective of a military marriage,  the principals and examples  given throughout the book, a journey really can be applied to any marriage. As I read through the book there were so many eye openers for me in terms of my life experiences as well as my husbands and how that has shaped our marriage of 14years. These experience’s have become our sacred spaces within our own world. After just reading the beginning of this book this was my take away….

I finished the intro and the first chapter.  Thank you my eyes were opened and so many thoughts are now running through my head. I was honestly expecting this for me to be a more memory book remembering the life we left behind when we retired. I know that sounds funny but that’s what I thought. How could this book relate to non active duty, I had hoped it would but had my doubts. I was so wrong. It is so much more. Thank you!

So, yes I am a retired military spouse but again I emphasize this book is for all couples. I love this quote from the books website .

god ss

One of the best takeaways I gained from reading the book was to live intentionally. As part of the gift of being able to review the book we were asked to make the commitment to live intentionally . We were given blue bracelets to serve as reminder of our commitment to live intentionally. It took me a week of wearing the bracelet and praying for what I would be intentional about to decide. So many different things, but I chose that each 30 days I will choose something I need to change in myself for our marriage. For the first 30 days I chose to intentionally listen without jumping to conclusions. The change I hoped to see was/is growth and strength in communication between my husband and I. Below is the text I sent my husband with the picture and a promise.

my commitSo part of the book was to challenge the reader to be more intentional in you marriage. I have had this bracelet on all week praying on what I could do. I finished the book last night. Here is my promise…and just remember I am a work in progress.
Next 30 days intentionally listen with out jumping to conclusions the change I hope to see is growth and strength in communication between us.
Love u

The card is on the fridge next to the cabinet I keep all the medicine in. Because of my husband’s injuries he has to take different medication throughout the day and I am the responsible for handling all this. I wanted it somewhere it would be a constant reminder.

What about you? Have you thought about your marriage from the perspective of going deeper? Of being more intentional? Is there one area in your life personally that can help your marriage grow?

Are you willing to join the challenge?

It is time to take back lost territory in our marriages- starting with yours.

  Join the  Sacred Spaces Campaign…http://www.corieweathers.com/index.php/en/sacred-spaces

 

Marriage is not black and white and  Sacred Spaces  is not just for camouflage marriages. 

 

A mothers opinion on race in our country today. Humble, truthful and honest.

I was not planning on weighing in on the current events surrounding the country these days. Relations are tense between  those sworn to protect and the citizens of this country. Quite honestly I feel unqualified to express my simple thoughts on the issues at hand.

But, I am also a mom who along with my husband are raising six awesome kids who hopefully will one day grow up and make a difference in this world. We are also a multi racial family so the recent events  have been the topic of discussion in our home. You see our oldest two boys are African American, our middle two are Hispanic/Caucasian/African American, and our last two are Caucasian. My husband and I are Caucasian and our family came to be through both adoption and birth. We may look unique but in reality we are like any other family in this country.

So, when you hear on the news about race issues, protests both peaceful and unfortunately not so peaceful, and people of all races lives ending tragically what do you tell your kids? Especially because you know that how you react will shape how the your children look at the world they are growing up in. Now, let me reiterate I am not an expert. I am simply a mom, my husband  was police officer prior to going back into the military, and our family is multi racial. I see all sides of the issue and this is simply my opinion. This is America and we do not have to agree, that is what makes our country so wonderful. We can agree to disagree and still live peacefully.

So here is my humble opinion….

People are people on the inside. We may look different on the outside, we may have different likes and dislikes. What our families look like are each unique to us. We need to respect everyone. This is not about whose lives matter more. We need to just have respect for people and as the saying goes “don’t judge a book by its cover.

There are going to be kind people in this world and there will be unkind people in the world. I have seen both. My children have seen both. I know there have been times I have been kind and other times I should have been kinder. We can choose to respond in a way that is productive and brings people together or  build up walls and create division.

Our  children need to be taught to treat others with respect. This is not only police officers, but teachers, school administrators, and adults in general. Does this mean there are no bad cops, or teachers etc., not at all. Unfortunately there are some people that choose to be “ugly” but as we always tell our children you are responsible for your self and not others.  This does not also men that all children are disrespectful, but as adults we need to teach our children to be the unexpected and choose kindness and respect. The best way to do this is  to be the example for our kids to follow.

So, as the weeks go by and hopefully our country becomes more united and not divided,  I challenge you to be an example for the next generation. Choose kindness, choose to respect each person as an individual, and choose to make a difference. Our children are watching us more then we realize. What kind of legacy do you want to leave ?

 

Kids and PTSD

Read one of the best posts on kids and PTSD  today.  Each family is different and each child is different, and age appropriate and maturing level should be factors when talking to kids about PTSD.  Click below to rea

helping kids understand PTSD in a parent
For our family what our big kids comprehend is obviously different then the little kids. As they have gotten older they obviously understand more. The key in my opinion is honesty and making sure the kids understand it’s not them.

Freedom is not free.

One of the best books I have read in terms of understanding PTSD is on sale right now for 2.99 available on the kindle or nook. You can also click the third link below to read more about the book.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-our-vets-r…/1121917833…

http://www.amazon.com/…/B00X0N40VE/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdt_img_top…

http://www.loveourvets.org/about/about-the-book/

love our vets

I have read the book twice and have also given it out to friends in an effort to help them hopefully understand my husband a little better.  I know I have mentioned it before, but my husband was medically retired in 2015 for a variety of issue to include PTSD and a TBI [traumatic brain injury}. I think the reason why I like this book so much is because it is open and honest. I think often when we here the words PTSD society paints the image we see in Hollywood. I remember being asked by a person if having PTSD means my husband will act like the character in the move “jarhead” . Now, honestly I think I have seen maybe 10min of the movie but knew exactly what she was talking about. There is a scene where the service member is outside in the pouring rain digging a hole. If my memory serves me correct he is also naked. Um no was my response. Just because my husband has PTSD does not mean every scenario Hollywood comes up with is what our life is like.

Now, I write this as I write everything at Everyday Ordinary Lady from simply my perspective. I am not an expert in anyway. That is where trained professionals come in to play and I am thankful for each of them. I will say this if you have a family member or friend that has some level of PTSD the best thing you can do is just be there.  Don’t ask questions especially if your question is based on a movie you saw. But, also realize that they may not want you around especially during holidays. This Monday is July 4th, Independence Day or America. For so many service members and veterans it can be an emotional, high anxiety time. As family members and friends we need to be respectful that it may be hard for the veteran to be around crowds of people,  fireworks, and loud noises. For our family we will take the kids to see fire works , but we will sit away from the main group of crowds and leave as soon as possible to avoid the crowds and also diminish some of the noise from the fireworks. If you plan on setting off fireworks at your home please be aware of your neighbors. I am honestly grateful that  in our county fire works are illegal. Hopefully that will cut down on the amount of fire works and noise at least in our neighborhood

thPY66I6F9

So, as your enjoy this holiday weekend and please do. We should celebrate the birthday of our country and the freedom we have. Just remember that freedom comes with a price. Some paid the ultimate sacrifice, while others struggle each and everyday.

Freedom is not free.